Wristwatch Sniglets

Time Warped September 16, 2002 admin

Watch Sniglets

Arrowneous- Mistakenly under the assumption that every watch with a broad arrow somewhere on it is actual military issue.

Ashpulse purchase- Buying a watch you don’t truly want just because
you can get it overnight and you have a coupon.

Calatravesty- Wearing a dress watch while rock climbing.

Curiomark- A scratch you make on the back of a watch because you
simply had to see the movement.

Dialalysis – Extended examination of a dial with a loupe.

Dialatribe- A long, ranting review of the dislikes of a particular
watch dial.

Discombezelated- A watch with a misaligned bezel.

Escapemint- The candy given out by retail watch dealers to be eaten
while they process your credit card.

Exhibacktionist- One who repeatedly removes their watch to show
off the display back.

Hologramology- The study or practice of the preservation of Rolex

Hororific- An extremely ugly watch.

Invictanitis- A disease affecting the judgement of novice watch buyers.

Langeuish- To feel depressed after the purchase of a watch with a
price tag of 5 or more figures.

Lugcheese- The green stuff found between the lugs of a vintage watch.

Lumiscrutiny- The act of looking for unevenness in luminous hands/markers
in a dark bathroom.

Minervous- The slight trepidation felt just after ordering a watch
with a website’s name on the dial.

Mintocchio- A watch dealer who describes every watch they sell as
“mint”, regardless of the actual condition.

(see also: Nibnosia Rareiosis)

Nibnosia Rareiosis- A medical condition causing the sufferer to habitually
lie about the condition or desirability of a watch he or she is selling.
(see also: Mintocchio)

Pinjectile- An airborne spring bar.

Polternick- A scratch or dent on your watch that you have no recollection
of making.

Quartzsteria- The brief illusion that your quartz watch has stopped
even though it hasn’t.

Rattrepain- A chronograph whose sweep seconds hand does not reset
to zero.

Remorse code- FSOT, LNIB.

Rolexia- The inability to distinguish between quality and popularity.

Seikosis- The repeated purchasing of Japanese watches that never
get worn.

Stitchsker- The short, stiff, stubby piece of stitching found on
the inside of a watch strap that pokes and iritates the wrist.

Strapophrenia- Repeated and obsessive changing of watch straps.

Submerciless- Wearing a sport watch to a funeral.

Valjitters- The vibrations felt emanating from a Valjoux 7750 movement.

Zenophobia- The fear of mediocre watches.