TimeZone Wrap-Up – 7/4/99
Community Articles October 10, 2002 admin
 Madame, I may be drunk, but I know all about TimeZone, because I read Terry Russell’s TZ Wrap-Up every Sunday morning with my breakfast.” – Winston Churchill
Happy 4th of July – 1999
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, In GENERAL CONGRESS assembled
“We hold these truths to be self-evident,
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Hi TimeZoners. Welcome to the
There will be music, dance, all of your
 “It’s been a long day Tom, Let’s party!”
If any of you missed last week’s Wrap-Up©,
Richard Paige© came right in behind
We had a death in the family this week,
Join me in a word of prayer that this issue
Another similar issue rapidly reaching
 
with perfect symmetry. The Lange sample,
sample though was the “blob” like structure found on the sample. Alarming at first, further study found this to be a fructose-based simple sugar traced back to the factory on the date Peter Chong and Hans Zbinden took their tour. Lange has since instituted a new “No Food” policy in the Manufactory. Had this been a schnitzel dropping, the effect on the watch would have been disastrous.
In conclusion, there remains little doubt
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 “Quick! Here he comes. Pretend to be dead” |
We talk about why a grown man would keep Sock Monkeys!
What’s THAT all about? Graiche tried to warn Foie
of the national Sock Monkey Recall but turns out Foie
imports his Sock Monkeys from offshore. Well, la de da
da. Imported Sock Monkeys. John Raba told me he
thinks Foie stuffs them in his swim trunks when he goes to the
beach. Others in Basel reported that Foie looked awfully
“swollen” during the Fair. It was also reported by
Franco that he thought he saw a monkey head pop out of
Foie’s fly during a visit to a public urinal in Florence, but
decided he was imagining things.
In the 18 months I have been a member of
the TimeZone community, I have seen this man buy and sell 132
watches, but I have yet to see one damn Sock Monkey on the Sales
Forum. I’d say this man just “bulges” with hobbies!
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I think it only fitting on this holiday
occasion to highlight the family aspect of TimeZone, and nothing
pleases me more than when those two Margoulies brothers
get together and share their thoughts and opinions with us. While
9 years apart in age (Tom is 48; Mike 39) they
seem to get along so well. Tom knows a lot about Lesbian
Rabbi watches (you can look at him and tell that) and Mike
has been to Florida. Tom admits to a deep admiration for Patek
Philippe and Mike can get within 3 meters of things which are
lost. Tom thinks the Seiko Kinetic is the most significant watch
of the ’90’s and Mike hates grits. Tom likes wearing a hard hat
and Mike likes “pocket pool”. Tom admits to “going
on 12″ and Mike to being a “Damn Yankee”. There
are so many “Damn Yankees” in North Carolina now that
all of us “Southerners” have had to get our teeth fixed! Hope you boys have
a great 4th!
Can you believe it? It’s been another month.
Do you know what that means? It means it’s time for the
HoroScope
©
Summer is finally here and your vitality
and spirits are high. Your watch budget however is shot all to
hell. Sure, you managed to keep the wife and kids indoors all
winter while you pissed Junior’s college fund away on Day Trading
and watch purchases, but now it’s time for a holiday. As you
book those flights to Tahiti, you will recognize this cost as
“what could have been” and what it isn’t, is that Lange
1815! As Mercury slips back into Venus, Junior will bust up your
rental car, causing you yet another horological setback. Your
wife finds opportunities to do you grave financial harm as you
bite a hole in your lip, exclaiming “Yes darling they are
gorgeous” and “You deserve the very best”. Your
lucky number this month is 12, and that’s about what all of this
will cost you, several zeros notwithstanding!
Boy oh Boy, I just love the next Contest©
that starts this weekend! You know the one. Instigated by Dano,
he and a gaggle of participants are going to wear their watches
for a whole month without taking them off. Hmm. For some reason,
everyone on the forum with RT Airspeeds have signed up, and one
guy said he was going to buy a Blancpain to wear, because he
“sweats so bad”. Hmm. It’s July, right? 100 degree
temperatures, right? Humidity high as hell, right? Dano said
he will award a prize for all those who make it, and the whole
deal is on the “Honor System” (who would lie about
actually doing this?) Dano, for those who do accomplish this
feat of sanitary pustularzation©, may I suggest that the
prize be something in a pharmaceutical? An ointment, perhaps.
Good Luck? To you all?
Last week was a bad week for me and the
ladies! You all know that I’ve sort of had this “thing”
for Stephanie, and while I know she’s married, and my
wife knows I’m married, I still fancied myself her
favorite here on the forum. But that all changed last Saturday.
When I signed on to TimeZone, I found that damn Judge Crater
dousing her with all of that “fair maiden” sweet talk
crap. Gag me with a damn polish patch! Stephanie, all
he wants is your Patch© money and an endorsement
from an attorney other than Jaeger (can’t say I blame
him there) and as soon as he gets it, he’ll be on to someone
else. He would have asked Michael Friedberg for an endorsement
but from what Michael tells me, by the time he finally got his
Patch©, it looked more like Judge Crater’s Buffalo
Chip©! Don’t let this man get too close!
 JAS and Helen, modeling their “engagement” watches. Two very fine people who are damn lucky to have me as their “relationship counselor”! |
Now, as if all of that wasn’t bad
enough, JAS has to post a picture of himself with the
other cyber-love of my life, Helen! What she sees in him,
I’ll never know. I get the impression that all JAS does is travel
around playing golf with Boon, leaving poor Helen all
alone. He’s quite the ladies man though from what Boon
tells me. You can tell from this photo that Helen would dump
him in a heartbeat, were it not for that watch! I think I have
a plan though. Helen, here’s what you do: Pawn JAS’s watch for
$500, tell him you lost it, tell him “it’s golf or me”,
then wait a week and go back and get the watch.
By then, you’ll be free, JAS and Boon will
be on the golf course, and…wait a minute. What am I going
to do about Stephanie? I am soooo confused!
 “Sock Monkeys are my friend” |
a Sock Monkey
to ME!!!
 clock, as seen leaving Celini in N.Y. where he saw his first Lange. |
clock
? He must either be very quiet or somewhat new
to the Forum. It is simply possible that I’m just too senile
to remember everyone. Nonetheless, we need to help this guy sort
his watch thing out. The other day he was going on about the
masculinity of a Reverso (or lack thereof), and then he
shows up over in the Lange Forum gushing on & on about
how he had finally seen a Lange and was now going to sell ALL
of his other watches (I guess the Reverso is now out of the question?).
I think this boy is confused and I think those Lange people did
it! Oh, you should have heard them when they saw clock’s
post. “I told you so”, “We knew you’d come around”,
“All that other stuff you have is crap”, and “Come
be one of us, clock”. This is a CULT, people. Once
they suck you in, there is no way out! They use every modern
“mind-control” technique known and their forum is rife
with subliminal messages…”buy a Lange…buy a
Lange…bark like a dog…buy a Lange…” Listen
up clock! Lange may be the best watch made today, but
you better be careful around these people…get out now…drink
Coca-Cola…send me your Patek…They are a l-i-t-t-l-e
strange!
Well, I hope you have enjoyed our little
July 4th get-together. I’ve certainly enjoyed having
you over. I think everyone enjoyed the food and from the sounds
of things, the baked beans were a big hit! I hope you all have
a safe and happy holiday week or weekend and remember to wash
up under you watch during this sweltering time of year! We don’t
need a fungus outbreak on the public forum! For those of you
interested, I think we have time for one more:
 “Man, T-Bone and Speener can throw a Party! Ooh! You ate the beans, didn’t you?” |
That’s a Wap© you Weenies©! Not
a food-borne illness, but a chance to blow off steam!
Productions© Copyright This© 1999
